Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Poem in the Dark

It's still so dark in the morning. I usually sleep in, but sometimes I wake up early. I guess the events of this poem actually took place at like 5 in the morning, but it felt like the middle of the night.

Is it a shame that my poems don't have more "original" titles? I don't like to push it.

Well, I like that this poem fits in with my "weather" series. Also, I really like looking at the snow.

Middle of the Night

Woke up a little shook up
from dreams I couldn’t remember,

took my pills, looked out
between the blinds. Snow

had piled up while I slept,
everyone’s yards blurred together

under an unseen moon.


from Barbara A. Thomas said...

Hello, thank you for my very first post! I'm honored. As far as the coffee actually roast the raw beans in a popcorn popper. Who knew!

PonyBoy Press said...

I like this. I like it ending with the lawns blurring together, though. Maybe the unseen moon line could move...? Sorry, not sure if you want comments like that.

Amanda said...

Thanks, Barb--I linked to your blog in the sidebar, too. :)

Thanks, Krissy--yes, comments with suggestions are fine! This stuff is work in progress. I think you're right that the blurry lawns are more interesting than the unseen moon, and I will keep this in mind in working on this poem.

tyler said...

I like the repetition of 'up' throughout. There's something perked and jarring about it that fits well with being jolted out of sleep. I dig it.